Baby, leave me alone
"I clearly remember the times when I was sitting with two children and sometimes running away from them to the toilet because I was already tired of their presence." Probably every mother knows this feeling when she is fed up with everything, even her children. Then there are remorse, anger with myself and this doubt, am I a bad mother?
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On the Internet you can find many similar stories, written quietly with shame in front of the whole world. I came across one such story by accident.
- I'm not a bad mother, I guess. I hug my child, praise him, help him, give him kisses, read bedtime stories, but I hate playing with my 4-year-old child. I hate it, it makes me tired and I get nervous quickly. Instead of enjoying my moments with my son, I feel like running away when I hear he wants to play.
I love him, but he's a crazy child. He talks a lot, only "mama!" and "mama!". I can't even go to the toilet, because I hear MOM immediately. To make matters worse, he is very spoiled. There is a situation where everything accumulates at once. from me and leave me alone for a few hours. " Sometimes I feel like I hate him ...
I get pissed off when she asks me to count something (not always, of course). I feel bad about it and I don't know where it comes from. Should I see a psychologist? I would like to point out that I am at home 24 hours a day. I don't work, the child goes to kindergarten for 5 hours, and besides, I'm with him all the time.
We are a normal family. He, she and it. We earn, we pay taxes, we wash, clean, we take care of everything we should do. If someone was hurting a child, I would have scratched my eyes out. I don't know ... Maybe I'm exhausted? Maybe I deserve a big kick in the ass for those words? I'm a bad mother? "
Dear mother, I would like to tell you that I know how much this confession cost you. Remember, however, that you are only a human, not a robot. Sometimes when a crisis comes, a bad day comes, everyone has a right to be angry. Yes, even you. Washing, cleaning and babysitting are busy activities that require constant attention, a sea of patience and creativity. Such constant mobilization can tire.
Probably there will be voices saying that you should be ashamed, that you are a negative mother, that you can, but I understand you and I think that every mother understands you in her heart. Because each of us has had such a day at least once when we wanted to drop everything and go to the proverbial Bieszczady.
In our society there is a stereotype of a Polish mother who is never tired, always smiling, in a good mood, who embraces home, work and a group of children. Unfortunately, the reality is quite different. You are still sitting within four walls, having your child as the only companion for most of the day, who does not fully understand that mother also wants to have, at least 5 minutes to herself, to drink hot coffee.
The advice I have for you is think about yourself. You deserve at least one afternoon a week, which you can spend, for example, going for a walk, it really gives a lot. One afternoon just for you. Go to a friend, go for a walk, fitness or wherever you want, but leave the house. It will be your springboard, something that will allow you to be alone with yourself. Remember, there are no perfect people, let alone such mothers. Each of us tries to be the best mom in the world, but sometimes it's not always what we want.
Everywhere we are bombarded with images of perfect mothers, some of them run a blog and take care of a group of kids, others have passions, travel and show how magical their lives are ... that you are fed up, that you do not like to play with your child, that you are not able to control it.
Stop it, it's not worth sitting down and driving yourself into the guilt even more, you won't get anything out of it. If you do not like to play certain games with your child, look for games that will make both of you happy. The child will have a lot more fun when he sees that you are nice too.
I wish you a lot of peace and understanding for yourself.
greetings Another Mom.